Saying Goodbye

Saying goodbye is never an easy task. When you have people in your life that you really care about, it makes saying goodbye that much harder. Coming home for the summer is supposed to be exciting - no school, a time to relax and soak up the sun. But for me, I had a hard time with the concept of going home. Don't get me wrong, I do miss my family, my friends, my work. But its the idea of leaving the people I've known for the past nine months that is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. These friends I've made are the ones I will hopefully keep with me forever...

A friend more loyal than any other. The one person I can tell almost anything to, no matter how secret, how big the problem, how difficult the topic -  she always gives me the best advice. She is more honest than any other person I've ever had the privilege of meeting, one of the few people I feel was meant to be my friend. I've never had a one like her - she's a sister, she's essentially me.

Her laugh, her smile - they can instantly brighten your day. She never fails to cure my sadness, my anxiety, my stress. Our late night movies dates with cookie dough have never failed to relieve both of our stress, made all our worries disappear. She is one of the few people who can instantly change my mood with just one smile, a smile that is more powerful than any word she could ever say. We may not see each other every day, we may not talk as much as I would like, but all the same, she is one of the few I consider one of my best friends.

By far one of the most frustrating people I've ever met. Self-centered, confusing, stubborn, distant... all of this and more, but at the same time one of the few people whose simple presence can make me smile. Countless movies watched into the early hours of the morning, countless times where I felt like there was nothing in the world that could keep us apart, nothing in the world more important than that very moment.  He is my constant pain, but my constant happiness, and one of the few people who never leaves my mind...

These friends are the ones I never want to lose, the people I can't imagine my life without. These are the people who made saying goodbye so difficult. Being away from them for so long will test our friendship, and if anything, make them that much stronger.

Never Letting Go

One thing not many people know about me is that I have a difficult time with friendships. It's always been hard for me to make friends, and the few I had as a child didn't seem to work out (you know, abandonment issues - we've all experienced that, right?). But I've recently come to the realization that I don't let just anyone into my life. I have trouble finding those people who understand me and who can put up with all of my flaws, the ones who truly care about me. But the few friends who have stuck by me through all of my crap are the ones worth keeping. They are the handful of people I have kept in my life, and they are the handful of people I care about more than anything. It has taken a long time for me to realize this, and going through my fair share of rocky friendship has allowed me to understand this part of myself. It takes a lot for me to let someone into my life, to let someone be my friend -  granted, it's not the easiest job, as I am a tough person to get along with (I know, I've lived with myself for many years). But the people who have stayed with me all these years, or even recently made friends - they are the ones I will never let go.